How you can help someone experiencing domestic abuse

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You can:

  • encourage them to call the police on 999 if they feel at risk
  • encourage them to call the independent domestic and sexual abuse service, run by Refuge, on freephone Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm on 0300 456 0174 or email bdadvocacy@refuge.org.uk
  • if they have a phone encourage them to keep it accessible, so be topped up with credit charged at all times. If it is not safe to speak on the phone, is it safe to email or text them to an account that only they access? If they are going shopping for food or exercising, ask them to utilise this time to call services for help
  • in the property, avoid the kitchen and bathroom when they feel unsafe or a situation is escalating
  • would they consider leaving the property? Talk through how they would leave the property if they felt in danger. Would they consider a refuge or is there anyone they could stay with temporarily?
  • encourage them to prepare an emergency bag with essential items such as ID, medication, some cash, bank card, and clothes and hide this somewhere safe in the property, or with a friend should they need to leave in a hurry
  • encourage them to set up a code word with a trusted family member, friend or professional who they can text in an emergency to summon help. This could be an indicator to call the police
  • encourage them to talk to children in the property about how to call for help. Is there a room in the property they can go to that is safe? Please let the school and social services know you may need help about the situation at home

If it is not safe to talk

  • offer to text the local and/or national domestic abuse number to them and agree on a safe way to do this (i.e. text the number backwards)
  • encourage them to contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 if it is safer to call later in the evening

If they are in immediate danger, please call 999.